It’s Been a Rough 24Hrs…

I had really been struggling to write a blog post without something specific and significant to report, hence another five month absence.  I suppose I’ve kept pretty busy because the fact that it has actually been five months is shocking to me.  This past week I was excited to have something significant and fantastic to report with my return to racing at Payton Jordan after my winter injury.  I came back quick and strong, rejoined my workout group, and thought I was ready to fly.  However, “fantastic” is not the word to describe what happened last night.

On the comeback trail, I had come to accept that some plantar pain was my new reality.  It needs some TLC and a few minutes at the beginning of each run to really loosen up, but everyone I talk to who has had plantar issues told me that is how it goes.  As long as it loosened up, I knew my bone was fine and I was okay.  I was working out better than I had been at this time last year, threw on the spikes a few times at practice to get a feel for it, and a few of us did a time trail a couple weeks ago.  I was ready.

Then I don’t know what happened.  I was nervous before the race, but that made sense…it had been a while.  The gun went off and fitness-wise I was good (at least for the mile and a half I stayed on the track).  A couple laps in I felt a pain in the bottom of my heel.  I tried to give it a few more laps, and it started to throb farther up towards my ankle and I panicked.  Sitting in a coffee shop to write this while my teammates do their long run, my eyes are filling up trying to recall what was going through my mind when I decided I shouldn’t continue.

Was this the right decision?  Am I just being weak?  Am I not accepting that it’s okay to feel some pain?  Maybe everyone does…  What does this mean for my season?  For next year?  I thought I was past this… Did I take my comeback for granted?  Did I not give my foot as much TLC as it needed?  I’m weak.  That was dumb.  I just ruined an opportunity in an amazing race.  Holy Sh!t my teammates ran amazing.  I train with them, I should have run with them.  Why didn’t I run with them?  Why did this hurt so much tonight when I’ve been working out for two months now? Repeat.

I’ll know more after a MRI when I get home tomorrow.

Finally, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it many more times after this, I have the greatest support system there is: A dad who flew across the country, a mom and fiancé who stayed up way late in EST waiting for an update, a coach who hasn’t stopped believing in me, NJ/NY teammates who ran their own great races and then made sure I was okay, Oiselle reminding me I’ll be back at it soon, and SUXC making it very clear that I’m always part of their family, it’ll be near impossible to stay down too long.

Until I find out more and can plan my next move, I’m amazed, inspired, and driven by the 5k PRs of my teammates, Nicole Tully (15:05) and Ashley Higginson (15:18).  Hoping to join them soon.